Lost...

Good morning... beautiful day here in Alamogordo.. the house is quite, my cousin is in Virgina visiting with his son, and here...his wife and my husband are at work.. my daughter still sleeping. She is night owl and since her transcripts didn't arrive at the college on time she will have to wait till the next semester to start.. and I sit here.. Lost!!

I am not really lost, I just haven't found myself yet..

I'll explain.. well try to.. since we moved here to NM, 8 months ago..I have felt lost.. I can go to Wally world and other than my cousin's wife that works there and Chris, in fabrics.. no one knows me, no friendly faces.. no, customers of mine that randomly come up to me and say HI.. or ask for advice on pruning their Crepe Myrtles, Roses or any other plant questions they might have..

So the other night, I re-decided to do something.. as it was.. I could sit in chair all day and do absolutely nothing until 5pm and then I started dinner so that it is ready when everyone gets home from work.  So I got up at 5:45 am to go walk.. that way I am back in the house before the sun gets up over the mountain, and it gets hot!

Well, when I got to the walking trail, I started praying! It was more of a conversation with God but my mind seems to work better when I am in this type of prayer.. it figures out things.. I started the pray with ... Good morning God.. and then my thoughts changed it to Father.. and my perspective changed to that of a child.. actually 2yr old child and their interaction with their father..

I know that probably sounds a little weird but it was a blessing.. and this is where I think during prayer the Holy Spirit helps us sometimes.. but...

as I was praying for Kevin's job, and our own home again..and a baby.. and this change in pray took place in my prayer.. things seem to fall in place for me... Think of it... A father/mother and 2yr old in a store.. all the things a 2yr old can see and want.. and they look up at their parent with big eyes and say "my wants this.. or but my needs this." (quoting a niece).. the parent, knowing what is best for the child and knowing more of the big picture for this child will either grant the request or possibly put it off or just say no....

Say the child picks up a package of pretty lighters... the parent will say no, you dont need this..
Possibly a toy and it is just weeks till Christmas or a birthday.. they will say not now.. maybe for what ever is coming up.... or what if the item is something they need to do some growing before they are able to use it or even appreciate it....

Our prayers are no different... God is our Father and he knows what is best for us... he knows our big picture... when we pray we don't know if what we are praying for is something we really don't need..or something that maybe we are just not ready for... that is when this little light came on in my stubborn head... my Father knows what is best for me... that is why we are in New Mexico now... I prayed.. he answered... sometimes I just need to be reminded.. there are times I get discouraged and think the move was just one big mistake.. I need to remember!!  God has a purpose and plan for me... I may not see it at this moment, but he does... and then I think God answered in the loudest voice... he used another person...

When I got to cross walk and was waiting for the signal to walk, this guy came jogging up. I mentioned I wasn't there yet, (jogging) and this was my first day walking and he said "You can get here, with God's help" and as the light changed to signal us it was ok to cross he raised a hand and yelled "Praise God" .... NOW, how is that for LOUD and CLEAR!! I felt that one from my head to toes and started weeping..

As I write this and describe it.. I realized I was at a cross walk/ maybe that is a metaphoric cross road in my life... and I have been walking all this time and I need to get busy and move it up to the next level and start jogging...

There were a few more God winks later that day.. A Lady in WM and a rainbow over the mountain..
Blue sky,  fluffy white clouds and this rainbow coming out of the mountain.. will try to post picture tonight..

As I was writing this I got email from my husband.. you see he is contracted to work 20 a week, but they have Special projects they can send him on..my prayers are for more special projects or full time hours...the email was to inform me he has a Special Project this week :D .. YEAH!!! AND the mail man just brought my book I ordered FASTING BY JENTEZEN FRANKLIN.. it was recommended to me by Rhonda Rich, one of my favorite authors.. I get her newsletter and sent her an email and she replied to it :D

Thank you Father!!!

Until later..I hope you have a blessed day and get lots of God winks..