Surgery

So much has happened since my last post and to be quite honest Aug 30th was probably my last normal day..

I hesitate to write this because well it is gross.. but I SO wish I had figured things out before it got out of hand.. PRIDE comes before the fall... SO TRUE!!!..

I was late this past month with my Issue and had hoped to be pregnant..but test came back negative :( Then I started, so I thought possibly a miscarriage.. I had one 5 yrs ago the end of August..my period was a little heaver than normal but I contributed that to the possible miscarriage.. BOY was I wrong!!!!! It developed into a very heavy menstrual period and after 2 weeks and no signs of stopping.. I was getting weak..but MY pride kept me from going to the hospital...

OK, this is for me and anyone else that might be stubborn.. If you are having to change pads every hour on the hour.. GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!!! PLEASE!!...

When I had almost reached the 3rd week of this issue, I was physically weak.. I came close to passing out 3 times. When my dear husband (after much concern and FUSSING) took me to the hospital, I had to be admitted. I had lost 1/3 the volume of blood, talk about being anemic!! But I found out I had a fibroid tumors that were causing the bleeding..the doctor put me on Prometrium, hormone pill... and I haven't take to well to it.. started with bad headache.. for 2 days. Then, I called the pharmacy to see what I could take for a headache. He said since the bleeding had stopped it might be possible to stop taking the pill.. and then said the headache could be cause from High Blood Pressure which the hormone may cause, but after checking my blood pressure it was normal so I stopped taking the pill for 1 day and the bleeding started right back..I of course took the pill very quickly! Thankfully, the headache went away but when I took the pill during the day it did cause the drowsiness, in fact, even taking it at night I feel almost drugged, very light headed.. and MOOD SWINGS!! I have cried like a baby for almost no reason..I have spent most of this month in the bed.. either from Dr orders to take it easy, to being to weak to sit up or even walk around the house..

NOW, the good part..well, if you read the last post this will make so much sense to you. When I talked to the Dr about the fibroid and what my choices were, I told him that my husband and I had hoped to have a baby.. He explained that after removing the fibroids, there is a greater chance of us having a baby.. well more than I have now or would have.. of course, there is a lot more details that isn't in this post..  but I must tell you.. during my morning walks and talks with the Lord, I am always praying about a baby.. in fact, when I pray I feel like the widow in Luke

Luk 18:1-8 ~"Jesus told his disciples a parable about their need to pray all the time and never give up. He said, "In a city there was a judge who didn't fear God or respect people. In that city there was also a widow who kept coming to him and saying, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For a while the judge refused. But later he told himself, 'I don't fear God or respect people, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice. Otherwise, she will keep coming and wear me out.'" Then the Lord added, "Listen to what the unrighteous judge says. Won't God grant his chosen people justice when they cry out to him day and night? Is he slow to help them? I tell you, he will give them justice quickly. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

Well, I don't know what is going to happen.. I just keep praying.. I pray the Lord will get me though this, I pray he will heal my body and give me the strength, mental and physical strength ! I also pray that he will give my husband and Daughter strength!! to deal with me and my loopy crying spells.. There is a possiblilty that I may have to have a hysterectomy, I have thought about this and well, as I had previously posted.. God is our Father, he knows what is best for us and I will continue to praise him regardless of what might happen this week! I will praise him and love him in all life's storms..

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a blessed day..

Good Morning..

The past few days have been, well, simply put ...amazing..

Amazing for me anyway... I posted last about the conversation with God, then I got my book about fasting and started reading it... a few light bulbs came on... and this morning Shannen Fields  posted on FB  Encouragement for Today A Ram is on the way...

"So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, 'On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.'" Genesis 22:14 (NIV).

Some people may think that the past few days, all the little things are just coincidence.. but, I look at is as encouragement! Encouragement, that I am on the right path. Encouragement that I need to step it up a pace.. and that the Ram is on its way.. I may be at the bottom of this mountain I need to climb.. but on the other side as the writer of the article says..

Unbeknownst to Abraham, something else was walking up that mountain. Quietly. Out of sight. On the other side of the mountain. Something else was putting one foot in front of the other. Only Abraham couldn't see it.

This morning during my walk, the conversation with God was quite on my part... I enjoyed the view that he created, the mountains, clouds and sunrise..and then thanked God for everything I could think of.. Praised him!

And I thought about this blog.. A New Journey... I hope that one day it will be an encouragement to someone else facing all the uncertainty's that I am facing now.. Going from in literal terms.. unemployed and homeless..to.. who knows what is next. Now, for homeless, I am not living in a box or under a bridge, thanks to the generosity of my cousin, my family and I have a roof over our head, just not our own home. My husband found a job he loves out here, my daughter will be starting college, and well, I havent found my place yet! I have moments where I miss Home... my work, my family and friends in Alabama... I miss the GREEN of Alabama.. don't miss the humidity so much, but who would!

But, I think we all have our pity parties from time to time.. the good thing is we have the ability to be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, and smile when we really don't want to.. and keep praying!! Remembering that God is with us in the bottom of the crevice, that is in the bottom of the abyss, that is the deepest part of the valley that we are going through in our lives.. and listen for God, get excited and encouraged from something as simple as a kind word from a stranger and then pass it on.. Smile and say a kind word to someone you think needs it!

Heb 13:2  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

The smallest of things can excite me.. Hummingbird looking at me though the window, the tiniest of flowers blooming in the cracks of sidewalks.. seeing a sliver of a rainbow in the clouds on a sunny day.. things most people probably never notice! BUT maybe the world needs someone like me to see the small things and to appreciate them enough to share them with those who cant see them!

The thing is, to me those small insignificant things, are like post-it notes from God! Notes saying, I am here! Good job! I am proud of you! I love you!
As silly as this may sound to you.. the other day I found something that I have only thought of..something that I thought I would never have..but it because available in a way totally unexpected.. My thought was ..being totally honest..  God is the only one that knew of that desire and he provided.... HE LOVES ME!! He cared about the smallest detail in my life and he blessed me!!
I hope in some small way I can be encouragement to someone in person or maybe through this blog, because someone else's blog encouraged me today. They got up and wrote something that I, so needed to read.. and it was just a small piece of a puzzle that is coming together in my life...


Have a blessed day.. may God shine on you!!

Rainbow over mountain

I have seen more rainbows this month that in years in Alabama, because it rains up in the mountains but not down here in the desert part.. so as the sun is setting it makes rainbows :D very pretty ..

Lost...

Good morning... beautiful day here in Alamogordo.. the house is quite, my cousin is in Virgina visiting with his son, and here...his wife and my husband are at work.. my daughter still sleeping. She is night owl and since her transcripts didn't arrive at the college on time she will have to wait till the next semester to start.. and I sit here.. Lost!!

I am not really lost, I just haven't found myself yet..

I'll explain.. well try to.. since we moved here to NM, 8 months ago..I have felt lost.. I can go to Wally world and other than my cousin's wife that works there and Chris, in fabrics.. no one knows me, no friendly faces.. no, customers of mine that randomly come up to me and say HI.. or ask for advice on pruning their Crepe Myrtles, Roses or any other plant questions they might have..

So the other night, I re-decided to do something.. as it was.. I could sit in chair all day and do absolutely nothing until 5pm and then I started dinner so that it is ready when everyone gets home from work.  So I got up at 5:45 am to go walk.. that way I am back in the house before the sun gets up over the mountain, and it gets hot!

Well, when I got to the walking trail, I started praying! It was more of a conversation with God but my mind seems to work better when I am in this type of prayer.. it figures out things.. I started the pray with ... Good morning God.. and then my thoughts changed it to Father.. and my perspective changed to that of a child.. actually 2yr old child and their interaction with their father..

I know that probably sounds a little weird but it was a blessing.. and this is where I think during prayer the Holy Spirit helps us sometimes.. but...

as I was praying for Kevin's job, and our own home again..and a baby.. and this change in pray took place in my prayer.. things seem to fall in place for me... Think of it... A father/mother and 2yr old in a store.. all the things a 2yr old can see and want.. and they look up at their parent with big eyes and say "my wants this.. or but my needs this." (quoting a niece).. the parent, knowing what is best for the child and knowing more of the big picture for this child will either grant the request or possibly put it off or just say no....

Say the child picks up a package of pretty lighters... the parent will say no, you dont need this..
Possibly a toy and it is just weeks till Christmas or a birthday.. they will say not now.. maybe for what ever is coming up.... or what if the item is something they need to do some growing before they are able to use it or even appreciate it....

Our prayers are no different... God is our Father and he knows what is best for us... he knows our big picture... when we pray we don't know if what we are praying for is something we really don't need..or something that maybe we are just not ready for... that is when this little light came on in my stubborn head... my Father knows what is best for me... that is why we are in New Mexico now... I prayed.. he answered... sometimes I just need to be reminded.. there are times I get discouraged and think the move was just one big mistake.. I need to remember!!  God has a purpose and plan for me... I may not see it at this moment, but he does... and then I think God answered in the loudest voice... he used another person...

When I got to cross walk and was waiting for the signal to walk, this guy came jogging up. I mentioned I wasn't there yet, (jogging) and this was my first day walking and he said "You can get here, with God's help" and as the light changed to signal us it was ok to cross he raised a hand and yelled "Praise God" .... NOW, how is that for LOUD and CLEAR!! I felt that one from my head to toes and started weeping..

As I write this and describe it.. I realized I was at a cross walk/ maybe that is a metaphoric cross road in my life... and I have been walking all this time and I need to get busy and move it up to the next level and start jogging...

There were a few more God winks later that day.. A Lady in WM and a rainbow over the mountain..
Blue sky,  fluffy white clouds and this rainbow coming out of the mountain.. will try to post picture tonight..

As I was writing this I got email from my husband.. you see he is contracted to work 20 a week, but they have Special projects they can send him on..my prayers are for more special projects or full time hours...the email was to inform me he has a Special Project this week :D .. YEAH!!! AND the mail man just brought my book I ordered FASTING BY JENTEZEN FRANKLIN.. it was recommended to me by Rhonda Rich, one of my favorite authors.. I get her newsletter and sent her an email and she replied to it :D

Thank you Father!!!

Until later..I hope you have a blessed day and get lots of God winks..

18 days later...

well 18 days from the last post .. I have been busy... this was not the quick and simple project I thought it might be..
The picnic basket, did not take long at all to disassemble it, and about the time I got it apart, I regretted it!

~Top~

~Bottom~

When I got the top off, I found that the straps were held in place by rivets.. :( about the time I got ready to give up and just put it back together.. My cousin, told me to get the drill and drill them off... My idea and his idea of using the drill were 2 different things.. I thought I was going to drill a small hole though the center..

Rivets removed..

After getting rivets off, I glued the padding and fabric to the front.. then marked the holes to put all the straps back in place

New fabric glued on

Holes marked to put the straps back on

Used 1 in fasteners instead of rivets

tada... what the lid looks like with new fabric

The bottom was NOT so easy...

till next time...

Picnic basket

In July, we all went on a picnic up in the mountains.. it was so beautiful, and we had a wonderful time. We had such a good time we talked about doing it again. When I got home, I got on eBay and looked up picnic baskets found one and bid on it.

I must confess, I was feeling a little nostalgic, for home .. and for something else, simpler times. Since we have only been living in New Mexico for almost 8 months now, I thought I would fix my bicycle and get a picnic basket and visit the park more often with my Pomeranian "Foxy", a quilt and good book, and enjoy the mountain view.

The picnic basket arrived the day had planned on going back up to the mountains for a picnic, but it RAINED!!!
I am not complaining because I had been praying for rain, and well God answers prayers in his time.. I just make sure to tell him THANK YOU, LORD!!

So we had the picnic inside



That is my new Picnic basket..


Now even as nice as it was when I got it.. I have bigger dreams!.. I will share my Picnic basket Metamorphosis Until next time.. Have a blessed day!

Moments

Today we went on a picnic! It was drizzling up in the mountains, and I was feeling a bit homesick for Alabama. I just wanted to feel the rain..as luck would have it, the drops quit dropping when we finally got up the mountain.

After driving 12 miles off the beaten path, we were greeted with this view. They don't make hills like this back home, even thought Alabama is beautiful... This was breathtaking!

We chose this area because I wanted to see the waterfall... I was hoping for a little bit more but considering its pretty dry here, thankful I got to see what I did..

The View was worth the drive!!

Sarah and D.J enjoy the bridge

My imagination could get carried away, making up stories with this tree for inspiration!

so peaceful

My Daughter coming down the trail.

Now confession time... When we first got there and saw the side of the hill... Well, I am really one to burst into singing.... and the song from Sound of Music was going thru my mind...BUT when I actually got alone up there on the trail... "How Great Thou Art" is what I sang....

O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;
~~~҉~~~
When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;
~~~҉~~~
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!

I did take a moment to walk down the path and just enjoy being in the woods and well, I also had to tell God thank you, for such a beautiful day... Alone time in the woods for me, usually always ends up with me talking to God, just seems natural.

Have a blessed day.. and thanks for reading :)

Reminder

Sunday, I was going thru my list of blogs that I have started reading, I have started following a few and some I just read and decide if I want to follow. I found one today Thistle Cove Farm and it was a reminder that I needed about Prayer...even when I don't feel like praying.. well, mostly I feel lost about what to pray about, because right now I don't feel very deserving, to have a prayer request answered. I was reminded by a quote from~ Commissioner Brengle~ that the  "accuser of the brethren" became busy reminding me of things that had long since been under the Blood.  Thank you Sandra!!

So later today (since it is 1:11 AM) I will begin to reread R.A. Torrey's Book on Prayer, and I will set aside a time to go into my closet and pray.

Mat_6:6 "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

From my very own Blog, I was recent reminded God answer's prays when I read what I wrote in October 2009 God's Timing. Now I just need to learn to let go and let God. Give it all to him and "Have a little talk with Jesus".. and while I am at it, apologize and ask for forgiveness for my doubts and worrying about things.

Hope you have a blessed day

1000 words

Beautiful Rainbow over the Mountain

Fluffy Clouds

Clouds changing colors at sunset

Love clouds

Just wondering

My daughter and I came up to Albuquerque today with my husband, he has to work up here for 3 days. When we got up here and got checked in to the Hotel, I took one of the carts to the back of hotel to get our luggage, as he drove to the back to get parked. Well, right after I came out to meet him, one of the ladies that works at the hotel also came out to clean the glass door. I really cant tell you what we said other than Hi, how's it going, thank you, (she held door open for us) and have a nice day, small talk.... SHE said wow, thank you back to us and said she doesn't hear that often... my first response is "We're from Alabama", and my daughter chimed in, "you know southern hospitality"...

I know being from the south, that is just how we are...well most of us! but it amazes me how something that is as natural to me as the freckles on my face, has been lost on a majority of people, and the only reason I am saying majority, is because if everyone was doing it, then people wouldn't look at me as if I was weird. I once  literally had a man, that I was holding the door open for in New York, jump back and walk around me staring at me like I had leprosy or some visible contagious disease. I just smiles and said in the worst southern drawl I could muster up. "You hava nice day sir" ~ Scarlett would be proud... or Blanche  Devereaux, lol. (it was that bad LOL)

Well, when I returned the cart to the lobby, the lady saw me, smiled and walked over and said "I'll take that for you" I just smiled back and said "Thank you so much, you have a good night"..  Wonder why more people don't take the time to just be nice!

Wonder how many more people, I will scare up here... let you know later.

Y'all have a good night!

Children

Well, my 18 yr old daughter got married this past week at the courthouse in Alabama. She told me via Facebook, then told my parents and her paternal grandparents. We are not on the best of terms right now.. well, she is mad at me right now and has been for almost a year, (cause I didn't let her do things her way). Anyway, I didn't have time to make plans to drive to Alabama for the wedding.

My point in telling this is, today my cousin and I were outside watching it rain (first good drizzle since I moved here in January) and talking about our children and how they can ignore us and hurt our feelings... I was telling him, everyone keeps telling me I will be a grandmother soon, and while it hurts me because my wish for my daughter was not to make my mistakes.. get married at 20, drop out of college, then after 18yrs of marriage end in divorce and I had nothing to fall back on... I am thinking more of the when she does have children will she allow me to be apart of their lives... and I told him as much as it hurts me right now... I keep thinking of how much my relationship is with her has also been the same as my relationship with my Father... the Heavenly ONE!

How many times have I gone my own way, not forgetting about him but taking him for granted, until the moment I need him. My Daughter may have turn her back on me, but I have to follow the example of my Heavenly Father and be waiting with open arms for the moment when she does come to me. I think of all the human responses, "Well, she hasn't talked to me in a year, why should I help her now?" ~ "You made your bed, now lie in it" (I was told that one in response to my own divorce)

I started praying in April, that if he was not the man God wanted for her that they would break up. Begged God to open her heart and mind.. (side note.. she doesn't want to believe in God). All I can do now is continue to pray, My own life has been in a tailspin, I want more than that for my daughter!

And speaking of my Heavenly Father, I cant believe that we have moved over 1200 miles for no reason. I know he has something in store for us,

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for." Jer 29:11 GNB

I know it rains on the just and the unjust, but I also know that

"And I will test the third that survives and will purify them as silver is purified by fire. I will test them as gold is tested. Then they will pray to me, and I will answer them. I will tell them that they are my people, and they will confess that I am their God." Zec 13:9 GNB

with these things in mind, I try to remember to give thanks for the blessing, Great and Small. I may be living with my cousin, but I have a roof over my head. Sometimes, small petty things hurt feelings, especially when your in a house with 2 women 1 kitchen LOL... the old saying WWJD ~What would Jesus Do??~ keeps popping in my head and I ask God to help me get thru this time?

I am reminded of a video I saw long time ago. I think of it especially when times get rough. So blessed to know God is carrying me! I notice date that I had shared this video on FB was Nov 3, 09 just after I started this blog and life started going downhill a different direction!
We are headed to Albuquerque, for the next 3 days, one advantage of my husbands new job, if they need him in Albuquerque I can go with him. Just got to pay for what I eat :D hehe

Until later,

Pinning

Today's blog is because I have had several days of my head not feeling so good... yucky headaches because I am hoping, I have not yet adjusted to living in New Mexico verses Alabama... but I have spent the time laying in bed reading other blogs, and just exploring the internet dreaming...

Right now we are living with my cousin and his wife, my husband has been official employed for 2 months now, I am still unemployed..I am hoping and praying that within the next year to have our own place ..somewhere I can make my own... Thankfully, Kevin doesn't care about how I decorate. So I have been "dreaming" and "pinning"!

My favorite activity, for the past few weeks has been Pinning on Pinterest Thinking of ways that I can bring the cottage look to the desert,LOL what a challenge!! I find that calling this Blog "A New Journey" has become more literal than I original thought it would be... a total metamorphosis of my life!!

I have always had a fascination with the word Metamorphosis, there was a shop in Nashville, TN called Metamorphosis that if you are into embroidery, smocking, cross-stitch or anything that is thread related...this is the place to go.. I walked in because of the name... and was in heaven... Serendipity is another word that has always fascinated me.. while in school I ran across Serendipity books and fell in love.. Leo the Lop was my favorite...

.. the word Serendipity means the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident .. there is also a great movie called Serendipity

My dear husband has to go to Albuquerque to work for a few days this week and Sarah and I are going with him.. found several great shops in the mall up there, that I want to visit again.. until later

Watch what you pray for!!!

Watch what you pray for.. my last blog was dated Oct 27 09' and was followed by a lot of drama and well I didn't blog anymore.. in that last blog I wrote "I am praying now for what I would call a MAJOR blessing from our Heavenly Father.. A new job opportunity for Kevin and opportunity for us to move out of this area.. actually to another state.. Praying for God to go before us, open doors, find home and place of worship.. WOW.I know when I prayed that prayer he listened because of where I am today.. but my life was turned upside down to get to this point..

I am reminded of lesson taught at a ladies luncheon yrs ago by my sister-in-law (now ex) she went into great detail about the..
The Story of the Potter and the Clay, how during the process of throwing the clay/we are spun around very rapidly and pressed uncomfortably, squeezed with the potters hands, pinched and pulled shaped and formed into what ever the Potter desires...

Isa_64:8 "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."KJV
Jer 18:6 "Don't I have the right to do with you people of Israel what the potter did with the clay? You are in my hands just like clay in the potter's hands. GNB

(this is one of my favorite teacups)

Well, I can say all of those things have happened to me and my family .. looking back for God to answer my prayer it was necessary, I know me well enough that if things would have been easy or simple, I would have resisted change..

I have never been more than 30 minutes away from my parents in Florence, Alabama. At the time I started the blog I was in Greenhill, Al.. in a little house I loved, had a job I loved. ***Note the I's.. my husband was in a job he tolerated, driving 80 miles to work (ONE way).

Since the ~prayer~ that year I was laid off because my oldest daughter had swine flu and she was one very sick girl that winter and then where my husband worked started going down hill because of the closing of so many video stores.. (they manufactured DVD, VHS) his pay was almost down to minimum wage. We were struggling.. the house I loved started falling apart.. Then last August my father-in-law passed away.. we drove out to California for the funeral, and on the way back to Alabama stopped to visit my cousin in Alamogordo, NM..

Well, after more 'pinching, pulling, squeezing' and some turning upside-down from THE Potter, we put all we could of our belongings in storage, thanks to friends we had a roof over our head and place to sleep. Then in November we drove out to Alamogordo,NEW MEXICO for Thanksgiving, officially homeless and jobless. We drove back to AL first of December and then back to NM for Christmas, then back to Alabama and officially in February of this year with tax refund we packed all and moved to New Mexico. Kevin now has a GREAT job,that he loves and for me it is almost to good to be true..(THANK YOU, LORD) we have found a place to worship and other than me physical having some adjusting to do.. Alabama is 570 above sea-level Alamogordo, is 4,350 above sea-level, humid Florence, AL, DRY desert in Alamogordo, NM. I have had more migraines since moving here than ever in Alabama.. I just keep praying that I will adjust quickly.. but GOD's hand has been with us every step of the way.. and I see it now more than ever... So I may just start now what I was going to start back then... Until later... hopefully sooner than later...